Friday July 17th

Stick two fingers in your ears, close your eyes, sing la la la and just be happy says one North Carolina mayor.

Tomorrow, Nickelodeon is beginning its celebration of the 10th anniversary of SpongeBob SquarePants — that absorbent, yellow fellow who lives in a pineapple under the sea — with “The Ultimate SpongeBob SpongeBash Weekend.” As part of that celebration the network has proclaimed tomorrow, July 17th, the first Global Day of Happiness. And it seems that Durham Mayor Bill Bell is on board.

DC police chief whines about iPhone application that warns drivers about location of speed cameras that happen to bring in millions of dollars in revenue.

Area drivers looking to outwit police speed traps and traffic cameras are using an iPhone application and other global positioning system devices that pinpoint the location of the cameras. That has irked D.C. police chief Cathy Lanier, who promised her officers would pick up their game to counteract the devices, which can also help drivers dodge sobriety checkpoints.

Contact lenses for your pets coming to a veterinarian near you.

Lions, giraffes, tigers, rabbits, bears, rhinos and even owls can go blind from cataracts, but an east German firm has an answer: custom-made “contact lenses”. The procedure is delicate, to say the least, and requires special training for veterinarians. But it has propelled tiny S & V Technologies, founded by Bavarian chemist and entrepreneur Christine Kreiner in the former communist east, to global leadership in a highly specialised field.

Awww man, I want to drive a choo choo too!

That’s some joyride! An LIRR engineer let a passenger take the helm of a double-decker city-bound train earlier this month, officials said. A witness to the July 2 incident – who saw the passenger in operating the railcar from the cab of the train – notified police, who are now investigating with the Nassau County District Attorney.

Verizon Wireless, “exclusively arrangement we enter with handset makers will last no longer than six months – for all manufacturers and all devices.”

Verizon Wireless said it will allow small wireless carriers to use the popular cellphone models Verizon offers exclusively more quickly. The wireless phone giant announced the change in a letter to key lawmakers on Capitol Hill who have been pressuring the wireless industry to end exclusive handset arrangements like Apple Inc.’s iPhone multi-year deal with AT&T Inc.

Women catch a break. One company’s male enhancement products are being recalled in Ohio.

A company known as Nature & Health is recalling its six supplement products sold in Ohio under these names: LibieXtreme; Y-4ever; Libimax X Liquid; Powermania Liquid; Powermania Capsule; and Herbal Disiac. They are male enhancement products marketed as dietary supplements, and they’re being recalled because they contain drug ingredients undeclared on their packaging. No illnesses have been reported.

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Was this guy actually trying to kill his family or was he just dumber than than a room full of Democrats?

“Pull it out! Pull it out!” Marquetta Owens shouted early Thursday, after she stumbled out of her carbon monoxide-filled home on Detroit’s far west side. Inside the small two-story home, her husband and three children lay unconscious from fumes created by a generator the family had hooked up Wednesday after DTE Energy cut off their electricity for nonpayment.

Missouri car dealer offers voucher for free gun to customers buying a new truck. Word has it anti Second Amendment purchasers will get a free phone that only dials 911.

Buy a truck and get a free AK-47 gun. That’s the deal a Missouri truck dealer is offering new customers who buy a pickup truck in August. Mark Muller, owner of Max Motors in Butler, says he knows people will be bothered by the promotion.

Heads up for bank ATM users.

Police are warning people to stay away from ATMs with mirrors, cupholders or other strange devices on it, after a series of “skimming” incidents in Maryland. Annapolis Police say two men were photographed putting a credit card skimmer and camera on an ATM at a Bank of America on Church Circle in Annapolis on July 5 — and removing it several hours later.

Thieving hairballs burglarize home of parents while they were attending their dead child’s viewing.

While the family of a 2-year-old Wayne Twp. toddler who died July 7 in an ATV accident were at the viewing of their son, their home was burglarized. “This is appalling,” said detective Sgt. Brandon Lacy of the Warren County Sheriff’s Office. “With everything this family has been through, for this to happen, it’s outrageous. These people are very special to us.”

Police looking for sicko babysitter who fed wine to 9 month old baby.

Carrollton police are searching for a baby sitter they say fed a 9-month-old boy wine, causing the baby’s blood-alcohol level to exceed four times the legal limit for an adult. Carrollton police Sgt. Tony Johnson said authorities are searching for 40-year-old Tammy Demice Truitt of Carrollton on charges of first degree cruelty to children and reckless conduct for giving the baby alcohol.


Firefighters had to cut off the roof of a handicapped-equipped van after it became wedged in the entrance of a Westfield Connecticut Post mall parking garage Thursday morning. A disabled woman who was a passenger in the van was medically evaluated at the scene, said Capt. Chris Zak, the Milford Fire Department spokesman.

Tragic accident for recent immigrant to the U.S. from Vietnam who just picked up his new drivers license.

A man who had just picked up his new driver’s license mistakenly hit the accelerator as he returned to a far southeast Houston home shortly before 10 a.m. today, lurching into the garage and killing his wife and mother-in-law and seriously injuring a 6-year-old boy, police said. The women, who were cooking, were pinned against the back wall, Houston police spokeswoman Jodi Silva said.

British police swoop in with helicopter, riot police and shut down man’s 30th birthday party and barbecue get together. Meanwhile fanatical Muslims overrun the country unhindered by politically correct law enforcement.

Riot police raided a 30th birthday barbecue because they thought the organiser, who had invited his friends via Facebook, was staging a rave. Four police cars, a riot van and a helicopter moved in on Andrew Poole’s gathering which was taking place in a field owned by a friend. The coach driver had invited 17 guests to an ‘event’ on his social networking page by private invitation and was about to light the barbecue when the gazebo suddenly started flapping wildly and the sound of chopper blades filled the air.

Three month old baby killed in her crib by rats. Parents claim they could hear the rodents roaming around inside the walls of their rented house.

The mother of a dead 3-month-old daughter found covered in rat bites said Friday that she heard rodents moving in the walls of her home. Casey Laine, her fiance, Robby Hill, and their two children, Natalie, who was found dead Thursday, and a 14-month-old boy, had lived in the house the 700 block of Central Avenue for two years. She said she had complained to the landlord about the rodent problem, but he never did anything to address it.

Scumbag running from the police rams into vehicle killing 13 year old girl. And NO newspaper reporter, this isn’t an ACCIDENT.

A 13-year-old Pittsburg girl died when the car she was in was hit by a vehicle fleeing from sheriff’s deputies. Cherokee County sheriff’s deputies say the accident occurred Thursday night on U.S. 69 just south of Pittsburg.

U.S. engineered spyware program pushed out to Middle Eastern Blackberry users could enable service provider to read emails, text messages. Hey if they can do it over there they can do it over here too.

A BlackBerry update that a United Arab Emirates service provider pushed out to its customers contains U.S.-made spyware that would allow the company or others to siphon and read their e-mail and text messages, according to a researcher who examined it. The update was billed as a “performance-enhancement patch” by the UAE-based phone and internet service provider Etisalat, which issued the patch to its 100,000 subscribers. The patch only drew attention after numerous users complained that it drained their BlackBerry battery and slowed performance, according to local publication ITP.

Quote of the day.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul.

-George Bernard Shaw

This entry was posted in J.A.R.G\'s \"Gotta Read\" News Of The Day.

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