Friday May 8th

Porno ‘actress’ thinking of running for U.S. Senator out of Louisiana.

Stormy Daniels strode onstage at a downtown Baton Rouge restaurant in a tight black blouse with a plunging neckline and a knee-length skirt in the popular purple of Louisiana State University. She introduced herself with a warning. “For those of you who don’t know who I am,” she told the lunch crowd at The Roux House, “I’d suggest that you don’t Google that until you get home from work.”

Germany freaks out over idiot that shot some of his high school classmates, bans paintball games.

The German government wants to tighten gun laws and ban paintball games in response to a school shooting in which 16 people were killed in March, coalition sources said on Thursday. Experts from Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservatives and her Social Democrat (SPD) coalition partners had agreed to ban paintball games, in which players shoot at each other with pellets containing paint, the sources said. The governing parties say games like paintball trivialise violence and risk lowering the threshold for committing violent acts, the sources said.

British police are told to stop searching suspected knuckleheads on the street lest the Muslims become offended.

Scotland Yard is scaling down its use of controversial powers which allow officers to stop and search people without reasonable grounds for suspicion. Stung by criticism that the practice has alienated ethnic minorities, the Metropolitan Police is changing its policy on when Section 44 of the Terrorism Act 2000 can be employed. In future its use will be restricted to policing ‘iconic’ or strategically important sites, such as Buckingham Palace and Parliament, and to specific operations.

For the first time since 9/11 people will be able to roam around inside the Statue of Liberty’s head come July 4th. May want to hurry up and get in line before Obama sends the thing back to France.

The Statue of Liberty’s crown will open to the public on July 4 — providing access to the top of the famed landmark for the first time since the 9/11 terror attacks, federal officials announced today. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar made the announcement this morning on NBC’s “Today Show” as he stood inside the crown. “Today we’re announcing that on the Fourth of July we will open up the crown of the Statue of Liberty to the entire people of America,” Salazar proclaimed.

Santa Barbara California fire continues to rage, 3500 acres burned, 75 buildings lost, only 10% contained.

It was a night to remember for residents and firefighters in the hills around Santa Barbara Calif. after heavy winds caused a stubborn wildfire to more than double in size and send 6,000 more people out of their homes and into the smoke-filled darkness. “Last night all hell broke loose,” Santa Barbara Fire Chief Andy Dimizio said today. “We saw the fire spread laterally across the top of the city..to almost five square miles.”

If you are planning to pull a bank heist consider leaving your ID at home. Of course my advice is just a little late for this guy.

A Kansas City man was charged with robbing First Federal Bank after being identified by the driver’s license in the wallet he left at the bank. Albert Vincent Perkins is accused of walking into the bank on Thursday, handing the teller a plastic bag and ordering her to give him all of the $100 bills. The teller says she put more than $3,100 into the bag and the suspect walked out of the bank – but left his wallet sitting on the counter.

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Strange exhibit showing two corpses doing the wild thing gets folks in Germany mighty riled up.

A controversial German anatomy artist is facing protests over his latest plastination exhibition after unveiling a work showing two corpses having sexual intercourse. Gunther von Hagens, whose latest exhibition, Cycle of Life, opens in Berlin tomorrow , has defended the exhibit saying that it combines the two greatest taboos of sex and death and is a lesson in biology, but is “not meant to be sexually stimulating.”

Former Illinois cop arrested on suspicion of murdering his third wife. Fourth wife still missing.

Former police officer Drew Peterson is arrested on Thursday for the murder of his third wife Kathleen Savio near his home in Bolingbrook, Illinois. He is being held on $20 million bond. Drew Peterson, the former police sergeant who went on a high-profile media blitz after his fourth wife’s disappearance, is due to make his first court appearance Friday in the drowning death of an ex-wife found dead in an empty bathtub in 2004.

Archbishop Raymond Burke hammers Notre Dame over Obama appearance, honorary degree.

One of the Vatican’s highest ranked clerics and a frequent critic of President Obama said Friday that Notre Dame is causing a “scandal” by giving the president an honorary degree and a platform to address graduates at its commencement next weekend. ‘The proposed granting of an honorary doctorate at Notre Dame University to our president, who is so aggressively advancing an anti-life and anti-family agenda, is rightly the source of the greatest scandal,” said Archbishop Raymond Burke, who is the prefect of the Apostolic Signatura, the Vatican’s highest court.

U.S. State Department building is shown to be extremely secure. NOT!

Comedian Armando Iannucci got past security guards at the US State department in Washington with a pass which “could have been produced by a child”, in what he described as “probably international espionage”. Mr Iannucci was researching his latest film, the US-British political drama ‘In the Loop’, when he visited the department’s headquarters in the Foggy Bottom neighbourhood of the US political capital.

Florida woman busted for keeping dead mom in spare bedroom for six years while collecting her social security, other benefits.

A Florida woman has been charged with fraud and theft after she kept her dead mother’s body in a bedroom for six years while collecting more than $200,000 in pension benefits, US prosecutors said on Thursday. Penelope Sharon Jordan of Sebastian, Florida, was charged by a federal grand jury last week with Social Security fraud and theft, the US attorney’s office in Miami said.

Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III (real name David Ogden Stiers) of M*A*S*H fame comes out of the closet at the ripe old age of 68.

Actor David Ogden Stiers, who played Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III on the classic television series “M*A*S*H,” has revealed that he’s gay. Stiers, 68, told the blog Gossip-Boy.com in an interview that he’s gay and “very proud to be so.” Stiers, who also starred in the television drama “The Dead Zone,” said that his decision to remain in the closet stemmed from his work as a voice actor, which includes animated films for such Walt Disney productions as “Beauty and the Beast.” He voiced Cogsworth in “Beauty,” and also had prominent roles in “Pocahontas” and “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

Kangaroo slaughter going on down under. Australian army has plans to kill some 6,000 of the animals to thin the population.

Australia’s army has started shooting 6,000 kangaroos to thin their population on an army training ground near the capital, an official said Friday, outraging conservationists who have vowed to protest. The killings are intended to protect endangered plants and insects that share the grassy habitat with the kangaroos. A much smaller slaughter of 400 kangaroos on another Defense Department site in Canberra last year was disrupted by protesters.

Quote of the day.

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

-Winston Churchill

This entry was posted in J.A.R.G\'s \"Gotta Read\" News Of The Day.

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